I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it time and time again, motherhood is H A R D! It’s so easy to feel overwhelmed, discouraged, guilty, lacking, unnoticed and with all of these feelings and responsibilities many of us start going into a mom rut. We may not leave the house for days on end, live in sweatpants (not going to lie, I’m totally wearing sweatpants as I write this, but it’s all in moderation 😉 ), not wash our faces and in the end feel isolated in a mom funk.
Feeling this way is doing a disservice to ourselves and our families. We deserve to feel great, and when we feel good about ourselves we’re more patient and attentive mothers and wives. So if you’re feeling like you’re in a mom rut you’re not alone, but you deserve better, and there are ways to pull yourself out.
These tips have helped pull me out of my own mom rut and are now things I strive to do on a regular basis to maintain emotional stability. I recommend starting small with the first few (it’s all in baby steps) and building your way up to incorporating all of the tips in your lifestyle to help prevent falling back into a mom funk.
I also want to take the time to mention that there is a difference between feeling like you’re in a rut and feeling very depressed and possibly considering self harm. If you are truly struggling to make it through the day and are feeling very emotional and weighed down please reach out for help. Make your partner or closely family or friends aware and speak with a proffessional. There is no shame in seeking help. It is very courageous to recognize you need help and take the steps to recover.
Take Time to Get Ready Everyday
This is one that is overlooked by many of us, but taking a little bit of time to get ready in the morning will go a long way to make you feel more human and more like yourself again. Even if you don’t feel like leaving the house, make time to wash your face, brush your hair and put on a bit of mascara and do your brows.
You don’t have to spend much time on this (check out these tips for getting ready in less than 15 minutes), but doing these 4 simple things will give you a bit of self care time to focus on you, and splashing on that bit of makeup will make you feel a bit more put together, even if you have spit up, coffee, applesauce, and so on on you 😉 Are you even a mom if you don’t have something random spilled on you?
Get Out of the House
Yes I know, you don’t feel like it, you don’t want to be seen out in public, but get over that hump mama! Getting outside, breathing fresh air, and moving your body makes you feel good. Get those endorphins going and go for a walk, even if it’s just around the neighbourhood, bonus points if you grab a coffee while you’re out!
This is another one that is often overlooked, but I would almost consider it to be most important. Food fuels our bodies, as does sleep, but I think we all know that sleep can be a luxury sometimes. We need to eat properly to have energy and ward off sickness. If you’re barely eating or only eating junk it’s going to play a big roll in how you feel.
Make the effort to eat well. That means meal planning, buying groceries, and preparing food. I know that may sound like a lot, but the food you and your family eats is so so important. If that seems way too daunting, I totally get it. Start by making sure you begin your day with smoothies, and always include your veggies! Then you can eliminate unhealthy snacks from your home and only have health foods to reach for. When you’re ready put a solid effort into meal planning and preparing food. There’s also grocery delivery services to help make this easier!
I can’t stress enough how important this is, especially when you’re feeling like you’re in a rut or battling sickness. Your body needs nutrients to work properly. Once you supply it with good food your whole system works better and you’ll have more energy.
Ask for Help and Set Boundaries
You are not any less of a mom for needing help. We all could use help, even the ones looking like they do it all gracefully! I actually think it makes you a very strong person to know when to ask for help, and your mental health will thank you for it. Tell your partner what you’re struggling with and how they can help. Sometimes we think they should know, but men are not mind readers. Be up front and tell them what you need. Interested in more relationship tips? Check out 5 lessons from the first year of marriage.
We all have different things that can push our buttons, whether it’s family that comes over too often, voices their opinion too much, or goes against your parenting style with your children. No matter what the issues are you need to set boundaries. This is your life and your family. You need to feel at ease when it involves your home and your children. Talk things out and make sure your boundaries are recognized. I know in some cases this is easier said than done, but nothing will happen if you don’t do anything.
Talk With Friends
Momming is hard! But guess what, all us mamas are in it together. We’ve all struggled through this crazy adventure called motherhood and we will support you. Reach out to your mama friends. Ask them for tips. Vent about your day. Talk about what you’re excited about. Your bond will grow stronger and you’ll feel better after talking things out with your friends.
Don’t have any mom friends? There’s lots of ways to make new ones. Local mom meetups are great, but I totally get that they aren’t for everyone. If the thought of meeting up with a bunch of random people (which is totally great btw) sounds terrible, try joining a Facebook group, or 3 or more. There are lots of local ones, or groups geared towards parenting styles, or how you feed your baby, and on and on and on. You can also check out our supportive mom group 4 moms. or join the @HappyStylishFit Instagram community.
Make Time For What You Love Doing
This can be the hardest part because you actually need to set aside time to do it, but you will be in so much of a better mindset if you do. As moms, we serve our families all day long. We need to take time to fuel our cups back up by doing things for ourselves that we enjoy. Whatever it is find the time, likely when the kids are sleeping, or better yet find a babysitter, and do something you loved doing before you had kids. Stay tuned with a post all about mama self care coming in November!
Orgainze Your Responsibilities
Part of what can get us in a mom funk is the overwhelm that comes with the responsibilities of being a mom. It can seem like the tasks are endless, which they kinda are, but it makes it much more manageable and less daunting when you have systems in place. Lists are your best friend, and yes there is a difference between writing things out by hand and having the satisfaction of crossing it off compared to electronic, but you do you mama, just make sure you are organizing things in lists.
Write lists for your daily or weekly to do. Have an ongoing shopping list you can always add to. You can also create regular routine lists for your ongoing weekly cleaning tasks. I’ll have a post up soon with more ideas on helping you have a clean and organized home, but for now, start by finding a system that works for you and tackling your tasks one at a time rather than looking and feeling overwhelmed by all the things.
How do you pull yourself out of a mom rut? Let us know in the comments below or continue the conversation on Instagram.